Short Jokes
One evening I was driving my eight-year-old daughter to her grandparents home for an overnight stay. It was late, there was very little traffic, and we were enjoying a peaceful ride. It was a far cry from the usual chaos surrounding us when I drive her to various activities during rush hour.
My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said, "I have a question."
"What do you want to know?" I responded.
"Mom, when you're driving," she asked, "are YOU ever the idiot?"
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Tuesday
Warden Offers The Prisoner A Job
Short Jokes
Model Prisoner
In prison, Jake got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. So, the warden made arrangements for the inmate to learn a trade while doing his time.
Some three years later, Jake was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often, he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for citizens of the community. And, he always reported back to prison by early Sunday evening.
One day, the warden considered remodeling his kitchen, though he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top. So, he asked Jake to do the job for him.
To the warden's surprise, Jake said no.
"But, you're an expert, Jake. I really need your help," said the warden.
"Gosh, warden, I'd really like to help you, but counter fittingis what got me into prison in the first place!"
Model Prisoner
In prison, Jake got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. So, the warden made arrangements for the inmate to learn a trade while doing his time.
Some three years later, Jake was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often, he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for citizens of the community. And, he always reported back to prison by early Sunday evening.
One day, the warden considered remodeling his kitchen, though he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top. So, he asked Jake to do the job for him.
To the warden's surprise, Jake said no.
"But, you're an expert, Jake. I really need your help," said the warden.
"Gosh, warden, I'd really like to help you, but counter fittingis what got me into prison in the first place!"
Saturday
Will It Be Long?
Funny Jokes
Ian arrived at a very popular restaurant and he was dismayed to find it very crowded. Approaching the hostess Ian said, "Will it be long?"
The hostess, seemingly ignoring Ian continued writing in her reservations book.
Thinking she had possibly not heard him the first time, Ian decided to ask again. "How much time is the wait for a table?"
Looking up from her book, the hostess smiled and said, "Oh, only about ten minutes. We will inform you when your table is ready."
A short time later, Ian heard an announcement over the intercom system, "Willette B. Long......... Willette B. Long, your table is ready."
Ian arrived at a very popular restaurant and he was dismayed to find it very crowded. Approaching the hostess Ian said, "Will it be long?"
The hostess, seemingly ignoring Ian continued writing in her reservations book.
Thinking she had possibly not heard him the first time, Ian decided to ask again. "How much time is the wait for a table?"
Looking up from her book, the hostess smiled and said, "Oh, only about ten minutes. We will inform you when your table is ready."
A short time later, Ian heard an announcement over the intercom system, "Willette B. Long......... Willette B. Long, your table is ready."
Joke: Four Stages Of Life
Short Jokes
Four Stages Of Life
Stage One: You believe in Santa Claus.
Stage Two: You don't believe in Santa Claus.
Stage Three: You become Santa Claus.
Stage Four: You look like Santa Claus.
Four Stages Of Life
Stage One: You believe in Santa Claus.
Stage Two: You don't believe in Santa Claus.
Stage Three: You become Santa Claus.
Stage Four: You look like Santa Claus.
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