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Jokes Of The Day

Today's Other Jokes

Tuesday

Lawyer Joke


A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher.
The ranchers prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed.
The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.
The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court.
The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldnt resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldnt have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went thr ough your ranch that morning. I didnt have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"

The old rancher replied, "Well, Ill tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."
Funny Funny Jokes

Saturday

Ocean Bottom - Corny Joke

Corny joke from http://jokesandsayings.net 

What sits on the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
Funny Funny Jokes

Monday

Mother and Daughter Car Talk

One evening I was driving my eight-year-old daughter to her grandparents' home for an overnight stay. It was late, there was very little traffic, and we were enjoying a peaceful ride. It was a far cry from the usual chaos surrounding us when I drive her to various activities during rush hour.

 

My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said, "I have a question."

 

"What do you want to know?" I responded.

 

"Mom, when you're driving," she asked, "are YOU ever the idiot?"


In the Driver's Seat: A Girl's Guide to Her First Car

Sunday

"What Is The Object?" asked the teacher

Mrs. Davis asked her English class, "Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?"

Zach raised his hand and said, "Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school."

"Why, thank you, Zach," replied Mrs. Davis. "And what is the object?"

"To get the best grade I can," said Zach.


Joke Genie, Editor

Short Jokes

Friday

Flexible Husband?

Several men are in the locker room of a tennis club telling funny funny jokes. A cell phone On a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function And begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello”

WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes”

WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.

It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”

MAN: “Sure, ….go ahead if you like it that much.”

WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new

2009 models. I saw one I really liked.”

MAN: “How much?”

WOMAN: “$80,000″

MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing….the house we wanted last

year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”

MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000.”

WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”

MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”

The man hangs up.. The other men in the locker room are looking at him In astonishment.

Then he asks: “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

Funny Funny Jokes



Joke Genie, Editor

Short Jokes

The World's Best Marriage Jokes (World's best jokes)

Tuesday

School Joke - Rather Cheesy

Why is the library the tallest room in the school?

It has the most stories.

Don't worry... we don't just have cheesy jokes... there are some other ones coming down the pike. Does anyone say that, like me?

Joke Genie, Editor

Short Jokes

Thursday

School Joke - Does It Pay to Know Math? Maybe Not!

Jeanne: Mom, I got a hundred in school today!

Mom: Good job! What did you get a hundred in?

Jeanne: In two things. I got a forty in math and a sixty in spelling.

Joke Genie, Editor

Short Jokes