Supposedly Dead Wife Awakens

A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her.

At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "What ever you do, don't bump into the wall!"

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Reason For The Role Reversal In Kuwait

Several years before the Gulf War, a female journalist did a story on gender roles in Kuwait. She noted that there it was customary for women to walk 10 feet behind their husbands. After the war, she returned to Kuwait and was pleased to observe that now the men walked 10 feet behind their wives.

She approached a woman at the airport and asked, "What enabled Kuwaiti women to achieve this role reversal?"

The Kuwaiti woman replied, "Land mines."

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Kissing The Blarney Stone

A group of Americans are touring Ireland. One of the women in the group is a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining: "The bus seats are uncomfortable, food is terrible, too hot, too cold, accommodation is dreadful..."

One day, the group arrives at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," their guide says. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."

"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouts. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide says, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."

"And I suppose you've kissed the stone?" the woman scoffs.

"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide responds. "But I have sat on it."

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Drink Carrot Juice After A Hot Bath

Julie: The doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath.

Sherry: Do you like the carrot juice?

Julie: I don't know yet. I'm still drinking the hot bath.

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Honey, Sweetie and Sugar

After a nice dinner two couples got up from the table. The ladies went into the kitchen and the men went into the family room. 

One of the guys said to the other, "I think it is wonderful how you call your wife, 'honey' and 'sweetie', and 'sugar' all the time. 

The other guy replied, "Well to tell you the truth, four years ago I forget her name."

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