Helping The Solider With Dessert?

The first soldier says; First soldier: "Pass me the Christmas Pudding, would you?" Second soldier: "Sorry, No!" First soldier: "Why not?" Second soldier: "It's against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!"


Jokes

A high-school student came home from school...

A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed.

"What's the matter, son," asked his mother.

"Aw, gee," said the boy, "It's my grades. They're all wet."

"What do you mean `all wet?'"

"I mean," he replied, "below C-level."


Jokes

Humor: Mealtime During A Flight

Hilarious Jokes



It was mealtime during a flight.

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked Joe, seated in front.

"What are my choices?" Joe asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

Double Negative - College Joke

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In
English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some
languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a
negative. However, there is no language wherein a double
positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."



Comedy

A professor was giving a big test...

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.
He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk
to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed
the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the
students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note
saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor
handed the tests back out. This student got back his test
and $64 change.


Jokes

Mrs. Treemont: Does your husband give you massages anymore?

Mrs. Treemont: Does your husband give you massages anymore?

Mrs. Tisdale: Well he hadn’t given me one in years, but the other night we were sitting on the couch and he started rubbing my neck, then my arms, then my back, then my legs, and then my feet.

Mrs. Treemont: That must have felt great!

Mrs. Tisdale: It sure did, but once he found the remote he stopped.


Comedy

Write It Down and Ye Will Receive

For a while my husband and I had opposite schedules. He
worked during the day, and I worked at night. One morning
I noticed he had left a not to himself on the kitchen
counter that read, "STAMPS!"

As a helpful surprise, I bought him some at the post office
and put them on the counter before going to work...

The next morning I found the same note. The word "STAMPS!"
was crossed out. Underneath it he had written, "ONE MILLION
DOLLARS!"

Jokes

Today's Short Joke

Hey Joke Genie subscribers and blog visitors. I want to tell you. Right now, I'm reading an incredibly interesting book about antigravity.

 

I just can't put it down!

 

 

Can Money Buy Happiness?

"Money can't buy you happiness but it will buy you a yacht big enough to pull up alongside it."

- David Lee Roth